sinzi's Blog

they say everything happens for a reason..... since he has been gone .. i have grow i think stronger.... i have seen he has healed and his demons are in more control... we both know what we want.... soon he will be back..... 5 monthes is a long time... yet our love is still there.. he knows he doesn't want to lose that love we share so , he has fought to get better and get the tools to stay that way... i hope he stays strong....

he has finally seen the light, he is clearing his head and making the right choices........ his family is the choice he made..... smile

It's slow yet I see the improvements in my world... It makes me feel hope again... If things keep going this way my world will be good again... Waiting is hard yet needed for great rewards I guess...

13 years we have been together. He is a good man yet he went down a path I can't follow. He is so lost... I have tried to help him but I am slowly killing myself trying. I have began to resent him for what he does. I can't see hope no longer. It scares me. What to do? I no answers anymore. I should save what is left of me. I guess.

And I didn't care... Why should I... Really, he had forgotten me years ago.... His new family is better according to him.. I just don't. Care no more. I have wasted to much time trying to get him to see I was worth some thing... It will never matter to him I was a mistake in his eyes and always will be that to him

here i stand at the fork in the road wondering which path to take. you might not like it but i think i am ready to leave you behind. i can not keep going down this road. if you are willing to change than we will go down another path. if not i am sorry you need to let me go.

For me to throw my wedding ring at your car as you drive a way should tell you something. I am tired i want to give up. Yet, i keep tring. I do not understand why i can not give up. The weird thing is my ring came back to me after it hit the car. I will have to ponder this.

My whole life i have been pushed aside. The forgotten child. When i got married i thought i would not be alone anymore. I was so wrong. I am alone and trapped at home a lot. My kids are at that age they are gone alot. Just me and the cats and the dog. I talk to them like i did when i was a kid. Yet i feel empty. Why i wonder must my life be like this so alone .